He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
