can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
