I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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