I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize