You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
