he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
