Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Randomize
