He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize