Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
