Screwed.edu
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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