I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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