Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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