porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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