i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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