Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize