What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
