I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
