i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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