Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
