Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
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