my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
