I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I will be naked everywhere
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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