Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
