we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
