Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
