if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
