i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Randomize
