Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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