Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
