So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
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