I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
