Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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