Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
