normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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