oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
you're hired as official boob wrangler
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
