I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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