is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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