Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
