He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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