doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize