i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
