Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Did you pee in the oven last night??
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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