I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
