My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
high people should be assigned attendants
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
