PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
