garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
