he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
