we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
