You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize