I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
