he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
