turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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