Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
