I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
