fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
birth control should be required to get into college
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
