Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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