We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
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