I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Sober January is a disaster.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
