Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
