I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
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