I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
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