So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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