Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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