"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Randomize
